Oh Jaxon.

Things have been pretty normal around here. Normal meaning, nothing too exciting happens, but Jaxon continues to wow us with the things he says-
1. Tonight during dinner we told Jaxon that Dave won't be able to come to the Ferrell Family Vacation this year (Just like he couldn't come to the Rogers family vacation last year...don't get me started...) Anyway.. Jaxon broke down. I had NO IDEA he would be so sad and emotional, or we wouldn't have chosen 15 minutes before bedtime to break the news. He couldn't even stop crying long enough to tell us something that he was clearly trying to get out. After a few minutes of him covering his face and sobbing, he finally said, "I'm so sad. All my cousins get to have their daddys there, but I don't get to have my Daddy. I JUST WANT MY DADDY!" (More crying...)
Me: "Jaxon, you'll have Mommy!"
(more crying...harder...)
Jaxon: "You don't even count Mommy!"
Thanks buddy...that's awesome...

He was so distraught that it brought both Dave and I to tears...although in trying to calm him down, we didn't let him see.
Guess what? I'm sad too. Including this one in August, Dave will have missed 3 of the last 4 family vacations. That sucks.

2. A little funnier.
Tonight in his prayers, Jaxon said,
"Thank you for our prophet, Joseph Smith!"
I whispered, "He was our first prophet. Our prophet now is President Monson."
He whispered, "I know. You didn't let me finish!"
"Thank you for our FIRST prophet, Joseph Smith. And thank you for President Monson. And please bless him to be healthy and strong. And feel the Holy Ghost. And try to be a little more like Superman."
Of course at this point Dave and I both opened our eyes and looked at each other and smiled...but clearly Jaxon wasn't trying to be funny because he didn't stop for a reaction, just kept going. I will have to ask him what he meant tomorrow...

Two funny stories, totally unrelated-

1. People ask me all the time, "Do you dye your hair, or is that your natural color?" The answer to both is- YES!

Very, VERY dark, DARK brown is my natural hair color, but I DO dye my roots cause I am CRAZY GRAY! (that is not the funny part...it practically brings me to tears every three weeks when I have to dye it!)

So yesterday I bought a box of hair color. I never buy the same kind, I always, ALWAYS just get whatever is cheapest. Well, as I was reading the box today, I noticed I got "non-permanent!" DOUBLE CRAP! So I kept reading to figure out what I was going to have to do, or it if would even work, and this is what it said-
"Colors hair for approximately 6 weeks, or about 24 washes."

HA!!! HA!!! HA!!!

24 WASHES!?!?!

If this stuff lasts for 24 washes, I'm good for like the next 4 months!
Yup- that's how I roll!

#2. I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE the people I teach at the gym. My morning classes are mostly older (much older) people. Like, in their 70's and 80's, but still spry and fiesty- LOVE IT!

Well, I have a couple men that come, that I adore. They are old and lonely, and love to chat. They tell me that all they do is come to the gym, and then go home and watch TV all day. It makes me sad, so I try to chat with them as much as possible- to be their friend and make it a good part of their day.

So my dear buddy "Fritz," A German guy with a fantastic white handlebar mustache, and an awesome array of tattoos said to me,

" You know, I've been taking this class for a long time. And I finally know you well enough (imagine "vell enoof") to tell you, You look exactly like a young Bo Derek. I think, maybe you are her daughter or something?"

I had no idea who she was, but I figured if he was telling me, he must think it was a compliment, so I said, "thank you so much."

I came home and googled "young Bo Derek" and YOWZA! When this Bo Derek lady was young...she didn't wear much clothing...and SERIOUSLY!?!?!




I love you Fritz. That is absolutely the most absurd comparison I have ever heard. But it made my day...possibly my year!

(I know this picture isn't very clear, but it was seriously the only one of her young that she was sort-of dressed....count yourself warned if you choose to look her up yourself!)

The Saddest Night time Story EVER!

Every night we have the same bedtime routine with Jaxon-

1. Bathroom
2. Jammies
3. Brush teeth
4. Say prayers
5. Read scriptures
6. Tell a story

#6 "tell a story" started out being a "Jaxon story." Jaxon LOVED hearing funny/interesting stories about himself as a baby/toddler etc. Then it moved to "Daddy or Mommy stories." Whoever's turn it was to tell the story would tell a funny or interesting story from our childhood. Tonight was my turn.
I told Jaxon the story about how I left my favorite "friend" in the whole world, my "My buddy" doll in the rain all night and it got ruined. I thought it would be a good teaching opportunity and said, "That's why you always need to listen to mom and dad when we ask you to take care of your things. We would never want anything to get ruined, like Bumble."

We tucked J in and left. The next thing we know, we hear him sobbing hysterically through the monitor, talking to Bumble about how he better never stay out in the rain, or I would throw him away. I went back in, and it seriously took 5 minutes to get ANY SEMBLANCE of order back. Jaxon was just absolutely distraught. We had to go over several scenarios...all of which I had to assure Jaxon would NEVER happen to bumble.
That kid is attached.
I left, and he started up again, talking and sobbing with Bumble. This time Dave went in- and it was a whole different ballgame. Now Bumble was mad at Jaxon and Pablo because they were taller than him. So he wasn't speaking to them anymore, and that made Jaxon so sad.
(I think this is a reflection of his own life, because it disturbs Jaxon immensely when he is not "big enough" to do something, or when someone he perceives as his equal is bigger than him. Oh man...)
Addendum- Jaxon just called me into his room one last time and told me I am NEVER allowed to tell that story again...it just makes him and Bumble too sad...

The Sweetest Prayer and K-LOV

Background information-
On our way to/from the freeway, there is a new church being built and it is not a church of our faith. When they started building it and we started to see their progress, we talked to Jaxon about how even though it's not our religion, we are so glad that they have the money to build a church so lots more people can learn about Jesus. So, as we watched the projects, they got to the stage with the metal framing. Jaxon was convinced that it was actually a jail. Only recently when they are almost done with the outside has he decided that it may be a church after all.

Okay, to the prayer...

"...And thank you for that church, even though it's not our church, that all those people can learn about Jesus. And please bless that it's not actually a jail...and if it is a jail, please keep the policemen safe from the bad guys."

Also today-

J- "Mom, what other language does Sensai speak?" (he started karate, but that will be a different post)
M - "Japanese"
J- "Does that make him well rounded?"
M- "Where on earth did you hear 'Well-Rounded ??"
J- On Lilo and Stitch. Lilo is well-rounded, and she takes long naps!"

I'm telling you, that kid remembers everything he hears!

Thus...I have mostly stopped listening to regular radio music in the car, because although I love me some good hip hop or pop music, he is constantly asking about the words. So...we switched to K-LOVE! I love it! It is a Contemporary Christian Station, and now instead of Jaxon saying, "Why does he want to smack that booty?" he is saying, "Is he talking about Jesus? Did he say he felt the spirit? Does he know about saying a prayer?"

That may sound so dorky, but I don't even care. We love our Christian Rock!

Just so you know...

I am not going to keep talking about this- our in-vitro, etc. We are moving forward, happily and hopefully. But this has come up a few times, so I just want everyone to know- you don't have to be scared, embarrassed, worried, concerned, etc. etc. etc. to tell me that you are pregnant, when your baby is born, that you found out the sex, etc. etc. etc.

I promise.

I'm not that person and I'm not bitter.

You having a baby does not lessen my chances to have a baby. I want for you what I want for me. I know how happy it makes a woman to get that news, and I promise it doesn't make me sad.

Maybe it would be different if I didn't already have a child. But I know the emotions already. The joy, and the excitement. Please, feel that guilt-free.

if it makes you uncomfortable, then please, tell me in whatever way is easiest for you. You can call me before you put it on your blog, or email me, or act weird when you tell me, as if you need to apologize for something. But the truth is, you don't. And the honest to goodness truth is, I will be just as happy for you now, as I would have been a month ago, a year ago, and 5 years ago.
True story.


The end.

Just me being proud!

Jaxon and I started working on writing his name before Disneyland. This is what he wrote the first day we practiced...it was his 3rd attempt!
I'm just so proud!
We are going to start "Letter a Day" next week. Each day will take about 30 minutes to an hour, which is fine with me and will help cut the boredom of summer. I even found easy, simple, fun crafts to go along with each day, that we will display in alphabetical order on the kitchen walls! I'm really excited about it!

Our Big trip Part 2- DisneyLand!!

Hurray! Disney was awesome! Jaxon is big enough for all the "big" rides now, and he never looked back! Dave and I were in heaven, because everywhere Jax wanted to go, we wanted to go too! (except Star Tours...that made me SO SICK!...my stomach is NOT what it used to be...)
Jaxone woke up at 4:55 the first morning at Disneyland. I staggered out, got him some pretzels and turned on the Disney channel. We don't get it at home, so it kept him occupied without coming back in until about 6:45- HURRAY!

Jaxon waiting (impatiently!) for the tram!
Jaxon's permanent marker tattoo that we reapplied every night. Best idea EVER if I do say so myself! Several moms stopped us and told us what a great idea it was, one even asked if she could borrow our marker! (still on, even today at church...)

Waiting for Haunted Mansion- J couldn't get enough, he loves a "thrill" and we went on it at least 12 times!

Buzz Lightyear! Another one of Jaxon's favorites which was just fine with Dave and I! We are slightly (read: shockingly!) competitive, and loved to see who got the higher score. We found that whoever had the front car (in front of the other person) usually won...except Dave beat me a couple times from the back- good times!

Finding Nemo. Interesting, but also made me a little nauseated. We were in line next to a big Malaysian group of adults, who thought Jaxon was the cutest and most hilarious thing ever. Of course he ate it up!

Here is Jaxon waiting for Jedi Training. He was very excited to go up and do training...BEFORE we actually got to Disneyland. When we actually got to the training area, he was back and forth as to whether or not he even wanted to try and go up. Dave and I convinced (mildly forced...) him to hold up his sign, and of course he was the 2nd one picked. (doesn't he look excited?)

He was excited to have his light sabor and cape...but when Darth Vader and Darth Maul came out, he hit the road on the double! He didn't even stay to use his fight sequence against darth. He said, "I liked it. I was just a little too tired!" What a funny boy...

Playing in the "O" of California Adventure-

Waiting in line for Tower of Terror. Jaxon LOVED this ride! At first it was just because it made him feel so brave, but by our fifth ride (yes 5) he had his hands up in the air the whole time, and he loved Screaming along with the other pansies...except he wasn't scared, he just thought it was funny!

Jaxon got a little lonely in the early (EARLY) mornings, so he decided to redress himself. He tied his pajama pants on the his head and put his legs in his shirt. Extra Points for creatively...and awesome orange pj pants!

The second day at Disneyland Jaxon slept in until 5:25- A MIRACLE! Again he watched TV until about 6:30, so we felt pretty well rested.

The last morning there he came into our room at 4AM!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? He seemed wide awake, and I squated down to talk to him.

He said, "MOM!!! Did you know there are all types of crabs in the ocean, even some that don't bite???"

...the kid was so excited I didn't even know what to make of it.

I said, "That's great buddy...but it is WAAAAAYYY to early to be awake."

I had him use the potty and go back to bed. I just knew he wasn't going to go back to sleep, but can you believe it- he didn't wake up again until 6:25!!! WHAT THE...??? What a great rest! Later that day he told me, "Mom! Did you know Oakley (his cousin) told me that story about crabs in my dream, and I JUST HAD TO WAKE UP AND TELL YOU Isn't that Awesome?!?!?" Funny boy!

We were quite proud of ourselves at Disneyland as well. We packed in LOTS of snacks, drinks and sandwiches everyday. So Day one At Disneyland we bought - one churro for Jaxon. Day two we bought 2 frozen lemonades. Day three we went crazy and bought one frozen lemonade, one pretzel with Cheese, and Jaxon's one toy that he got to pick out...which only cost $16 bucks!!! What a steal!

The ride home was like the ride home always is...too long, with everyone too tired...and tempers a little shorter than they were on the way there. It really wasn't too bad, and we made it home with no problems.

That week worked miracles. I feel so much better and I'm ready for real life.

Our Trip Part 1- Legoland

We made it! The drive was nice and easy- and we made it to Carlsbad in good time. We had just booked the cheapest 3 star hotel we could find on Hotwire, and ended up at a really nice Hilton right at the warf! It was perfect. We chucked our stuff in the room, and walked to the warf... Which took all of about 4 minutes. We saw all the boats and shops and then walked to the beach. It was the first time Jaxon remembers being at the beach, and he was in heaven. The weather was perfect for walking, not swimming...he didn't quite understand and was SO SAD. He and I will be going back to the beach this summer when we visit my brother, so I promised him he would get a chance to really enjoy it!

Really! This. Is. The. Life. I love those boys. Man, I LOVE THEM!

J So Excited...


A little too excited! HOLD ON THERE LITTLE BUDDY!!!

On the walk back we got dinner at a little shop on the warf. Hamburger for J, Clam Chowder in bread bowls for Dave and I... YUM!!! Of course Jaxon had to enjoy some Ice cream too...

The next morning Jaxon woke up at 4:45...yes...thats A.M.!!!! Unfortunately this hotel didn't have two separate rooms like the one we booked at Disneyland..so we were up too! Ahhhh well....Jaxon was what this trip was all about, so we were bound and determined to not be crabby. So up we were!
We packed up and headed to Legoland. Its was pretty empty and lots of fun!

I think this is MY FAVORITE PICTURE of the whole trip! I mean seriously! Isn't that the cutest thing ever?????

Like a kid again... (yes, Jaxon is in the boat with Dave, but you can clearly see who is enjoying it more...)

In the Lego shark...I think everyone who has ever been to Legoland has this picture..right?
After Legoland we headed out to Anaheim. We made great time, and headed straight to our FAVORITE RESTAURANT EVER! Pat and Oscars! It probably wouldn't be our favorite EVER if we could eat there when ever we wanted, but it's only a Cali joint...so we took advantage...we ate there every night for our 4 nights in Anaheim...eating the same thing EVERY NIGHT! Their breadsticks are the best I've ever tasted, and their lemon chicken Salad is...uhhh...THERE ARE NO WORDS!!!! Even Dave, who is not really a salad guy, LOVES IT!
PS- We were really proud of ourselves! We didn't spend a RED CENT at Legoland! We bought our tickets ahead of time at Costco, and brought all our own food! HURRAY!

We're doing okay-

We really are. The trip has been consuming my thoughts-
The busier, the better.
We are so looking forward to hitting the road tomorrow.
Thank you all for your prayers, texts, and comments. And thank you for understanding when I don't respond.
Just wanted to let everyone know, that we are still alive over here, and let you see that while we might be struggling a little, we are still loving life and each other-

Remember Jaxon's red lips for his Easter pictures???
(At just the right time too, thanks Grandpa!)

I know this particular face is one only a mother could love- and love it I do. I think this is quite possibly the most hilarious picture I have ever seen!

Tomorrow morning When Jaxon wakes up he will find a picture of the Disney castle on his bedroom floor. The story is that Mickey Mouse came by during the night and left something for Jaxon...so he just needs to follow the clues...
Which will lead him to this- His Mickey hat, a special personalized ticket to Disneyland, a letter from Mickey Mouse, and a picture of Mickey....can you tell we are excited to have some fun and get away?

See ya next weekend.