Blindsided. Twice.

Here we go again...
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For the last 6 weeks we have been prepping (shots, meds, drs apts) for a frozen embryo transfer. We had one average quality embryo frozen, and wanted to use it before we made any other decisions.

Wednesday June 30th, was our transfer, and it didn't go very well.  Most of the embryo's cells had died while thawing.  The dr. said that there was only a slim chance that it would work, but since we had done all the prep and drugs, and since there were still a few living cells, we would go ahead with the transfer. 

We did all the necessary things, bedrest for 3 days, rest for following 9 days.  Friday July 9th I went in for a blood test to see if we were pregnant.  We did not in any way think that we were, so it was just a formality to be sure.  We had planned some other things for the coming months and the rest of the year so that I would have some other things to focus on when the news came in.

 Imagine our surprise when our dr. called Friday afternoon to congratulate us on our pregnancy.  We were exstatic, but very much is shock.

 Blindsided #1.

We went out to dinner to celebrate, and didn't talk much about the baby, because we were still so surprised. We both said that it would be much more real when we heard a heartbeat. 

Today I went in for the first of several more blood tests to track the progress of the baby by tracking the increase of HcG in my blood.  The Dr. called less than 2 hours later to tell us that instead of doubling like it should have, the HcG had gone down. Prognosis- not pregnant anymore.

Blindsided #2.

Obviously we are very sad.  I wish that the news the first time would just have been negative, because we were ready for it with no expectations.  It hurts a lot more now that I had 3 whole days to think that I was going to have a baby. 

We are okay. Jaxon and I already had a trip planned to visit family in California this weekend, so we aren't skipping town just because of this, but it is nice to get away.  Again- comments, emails and texts are welcome, but I probably won't answer the phone much until we get back from Cali next Monday.

9 comments:

Cindy Spratling said...

Oh Ashley. We are still just becoming friends in a way, but at the same time, I feel like I know you so well. I am crying for you now. I hope you have a great weekend away and know I am thinking of you and praying for you. Your testimony a couple weeks ago was amazing, btw. Do you remember what you said about Heavenly Father knowing YOU and what YOU need and WHEN. It's true. We will miss you this weekend, but have fun with your little man in CA.

Roger and Stephnie said...

I am so sorry to hear your news. I will be praying for you guys and hope for the best. I hope you have a great time on your little "get away".

Blake, Jamie & Samantha Holiday said...

Well crap. That is just the wrong news. That happened to my older sister Michelle...twice. But, she actually got a tiny bit further along once and had to have a D&C and they dubbed it an official miscarriage.

Like I've said before, I don't wish any of this on anyone.

When we had our bad news, is when Samantha started sleeping with us. in our bed. every night. and ps, it has NOT stopped. So, that wouldn't be my best advice, but it is sure a blessing to have A child around...I know you feel that. I just still can't get enough of her. So, love that little man of yours and all his fake smiles!

AnnaMarie said...

My heart is breaking for you guys. I hope your trip to California is wonderful, and that you and Jaxon and Dave have a great time together while you're waiting for your little one to come. We love you so very much.

Brit said...

I can't even imagine your heartache. I know my heart hurts for you guys, and my prayers are for you. Hang in there you are such a wonderful women and I am so glad I was able to get to know you for a short while!

Rachel said...

my heart is breaking for you. I feel like we've become so close lately and i just cant even imagine what ur going through. I love ya girl. Take care of your self and have fun in cali! let me know if you need anything....even if it's sonic at midnight:)

Flaherty Fam said...

I am so sorry, Ashley. Please know that I have been thinking about you lots and hope you try and enjoy your trip to Cali. Please let me know if I can help in anyway.

Marie said...

Love you so much!

michelle said...

I'm sorry Ashley, you have such a good perspective about this whole thing. I hope things turn around soon for you and Dave. One things for sure, when you do have a baby again, you will love him or her so much because of how hard you had to fight to have them.

Sending lots of love your way. Have a great time in California. Big hug!!