Back to school! Jaxon- first Grade!

This motherhood thing is harder than you might think.  After suffering through a rediculously hot summer being rediculously pregnant and not knowing how exactly to keep Jaxon "intellectually stimulated" most of the time...I thought I was pretty ready to send him to first grade.

WRONG!

This has all of a sudden become very hard for me.  It's no big secret that I deal with a little bit of anxiety in my life, and I guess everything just hit me at once-

1.  Jaxon will be gone ALL DAY. ALL DAY?!?!?!

2. I'm no longer going to be the primary adult influence in his life. WHAT???  Who ever decided THAT was a good idea???

3.  In 3.5 weeks I'm going to have a brand new baby at home.  I am absolutely SO looking forward to having sweet Cooper here to hold in my arms, to add to our family, to have the second child that we have prayed for for the last 4 years, and to give Jaxon the sibling that he has begged for as long as he could talk...I just remember with Jaxon, the post partum was not pretty. 

Anyway,  It all came crashing down on me this week, and I have spent more than a few evenings with tears in my eyes.  Of course never letting Jaxon see anything but extreme excitement for him, but this momma's heart is breaking!

 

The day before school, Jaxon woke up to these signs all around the house for him.  He really loves stuff like this, and told Dave and I that he wants them all put up in his room when we take them down from the rest of the house- YES SIR!!!

This one by Dave cracks me up!  Last year Jaxon told us he couldn't wait to be a "grader" because they are so much better than kindergartners.  We asked what he was talking about and he said, "You know! first- GRADER. second-GRADER.  fifth-GRADER!  A GRADER!!!"  Ah-ha- we got it, and we laugh about it all the time!

We found out that Jaxon's teacher was going to be "Mrs. Jacks" and he thought that was pretty much the coolest thing ever!

Jaxon and I went and met his teacher, Mrs. Jacks, who seems really great, then hosted a back to school luncheon for the teachers at his school (As part of my FPO duties)  then did some last minute school supplies/school lunch shopping, then came home and watched the Olympics!  At around 5 we set the table with Grandmas nice china and 5 candles for a lovely back-to-school candlelight dinner of Jaxon's choosing. ...



That's right, he chose McDonalds, with a Tropical Smoothie Shake.  I hope his taste improves as he gets older!!!

Last night Dave gave both Jaxon and I blessings, and I absolutely LOVE that he can do that for our family.  He asked Jaxon if he was nervous about anything, and Jaxon's answer was so spot on with his personality.  He said he was only nervous about finding someone to play with on the playground and someone to sit with at lunch, because there were NO boys from his old class in his new class, and only one girl.  Not nervous about his teacher, his school work, getting lost at a new campus, learning anything new, reading, NOPE! Just wanting to make sure he has friends.  He is such a social boy, and anyone can tell you, his friends/cousins mean the world to him. I always think it is because he doesn't have that sibling relationship to fall back on. 
 
Dave gave him a beautiful blessing, and we have also talked about friendship, had Family home evening about friendship, asked others about friendship etc. until we are blue in the face.  We want so badly for him to make good uplifting friends who encourage him to chose the right, and vice versa.

Also, Jaxon has planned for several weeks now what his FIRST EVER school at lunch in a lunch box will be- ham lunchable, string cheese, grapes, a brownie, and a Hawaiian punch.  Dave and I each also stuck in a note for him, because I loved when my mom did that!  He also decided that he would wear his new "monkey shirt" that he thinks is hysterical, because the monkey is wearing a hat and sunglasses.  (We also got a "monkey in a tie" shirt that will be making a debut this week!)

This morning I tried to pump as much breakfast into him as possible because we leave for school at 7:50 and he doesn't get lunch until noon.  For my little "grazer" I imagine the first few days are going to be a little difficult and hunger-filled. 

He was super excited this morning without any evidence of worry so we hit the ground running. I parked and walked him to the playground, and watched as he walked around looking at all the kids to see if he could find some familiar faces.  He found a boy, who I suspect he recognizes from the playground from last year, because he wasn't in Jaxon's class.  They realized they are in the same class this year (they are all wearing stickers this first week to help get everyone to the right grade/teacher at the new campus) and stuck together like glue.  He seems like a nice kid, and it just cracks me up, because as you can see in the picture below, Jaxon is on the smaller size for first grade, and his new buddy, the one right behind him, has GOT TO BE the tallest kid in first grade! Seriously, I don't think Jaxon reaches his shoulder! 

The kids got all lined up and followed their teacher into the classroom. I followed behind but Jaxon didn't even look back. (I also took better pictures with my other camera...)
  I went to the office to help out up there, and left about 10:30. That's when it him me Jax is gone ALL Day for the rest of his school career, and at least for the next few weeks, I'm coming home to an empty house.  I got tears in my eyes and called Dave and then my mom for some moral support and decided I wasn't quite ready to head home yet.  I ran some errands, and when I got home, sat straight down to write this blog.  As soon as I'm done I have lots of clean-up, laundry, odds and ends that I have put off until this moment, so I will do all of them to keep myself from being able to think about it too much!
  I can tell you this, I really miss my Jaxon, and wish I could just keep him little, a little longer. (And I do realize that in 3.5 weeks, I will most likely be singing a different tune entirely!)