Inquiring Minds Want to Know...

Okay, so not that many people actually asked me how it was going, but I can assume (read: pretend) that lots of people are hanging on the edge of their seats to find out how the crazy-emotional-poorly rested-tantrum throwing kid and his crazy- emotional-poorly rested-tantrum throwing parents are doing.

The answer is- really smashingly! SERIOUSLY!

With so many changes taking place, who can tell which one really had the greatest effect? Before I go on, one thing has not changed...he is still up at or before 6 every morning. Yes, EVERY MORNING. My mom reminded me that me, and all of my siblings were the same way, and to just find a way to work with it...so we are. But more on that later-

I have to say, I think the biggest help was in implementation of a little system we like to call "Happy Jaxons and Frowny Freds." (Also known as immediate behavior feedback) (Anyone who has been a teacher or counselor knows that this is not a long term solution, but for the short term it has worked wonders!)
We realized Jaxon needed to know/hear right away, as in immediately, when he was making a bad choice (that could, in our experience, quickly spiral into a full blown breakdown) or a good choice, that he could be praised for.

So, Two jars. One with a smiley face picture stuck to it, and one with a frowny face. Next to it, a bowl of pennies.

Every time Jaxon makes a good choice, listens on the first time, doesn't argue, or uses really polite language we tell him, "Wow Jaxon. That was a great choice. Go put a Happy Jaxon in the jar." He Loves it. He beams with pride...and here's the great part, he CONTINUES to do whatever good thing it was he was doing. This time not being rewarded by anything except more praise!

And every time ANYTHING negative, talk-back, rude, or not following directions on the first asking etc. comes out, he immediately has to put a penny in Frowny Fred's Jar. We set from the beginning, ANY back talk or questioning of Frowny Fred's would result in Time out in his room until he could come down, apologize, and speak kindly. And here is the honest truth- NOT ONCE THIS WEEK DID HE QUESTION WHEN WE TOLD HIM HE GOT A FROWNY FRED!"

Seriously.

Just today though, he tried a couple hilarious tactics, (That when used the first time did result in him NOT getting a Frowny Fred, just because I thought they were funny and well thought out."
1. "Oh, you said to put it down RIGHT NOW? I think I misunderstood you. Sorry mom. I'll do it right now!"
2. "I don't think I heard you mom. Can you say that again, LOUDER? Oh, put it down? Sure!"

So what's so big about Frowny Freds and Happy Jaxons?

First, the pennies in both jars are counted (after Jaxon gets to about 17 he skips into the thirties or seventies...so we are working on our counting...)

Next, all Happy Jaxons get to be put into his new piggy bank (that our favorite teller at the bank gave to him and couldn't have been better timed!)

Last, if he has more Happy Jaxons than Frowny Freds, he gets to stick a token to his token board. Ten in a row takes him to the "star" and he gets to earn a privilege. Thus far he has had more Happy Jaxons every night, and we ARE NOT RIGGING THIS THING!

Usually the privilege would be a trip to the dollar store, or a cookie at Paradise or something, but for this first one, we are going a little big. Ever since he started preschool at MCC and we drive the 60 Fwy back and forth 3 times a week, he has been DYING to know what's in the "Brown Castle" (The castle building at Golf Land/ Sun Splash) For those of you not from around here...it is a giant arcade...which works out PERFECTLY FOR US. Jaxon loves to "play" Arcade games. Since all of them simulate play to try to get you to put your money in, he can shoot, push buttons, sit on the seats, whatever, and there is always action going on, so he thinks he's playing!
So as soon as he gets to the star, we are taking a family outing to the brown castle!

Other changes?

Read my lips: "NO MORE NAP TIME"
He gets to stay downstairs and have quiet time with a video on. We got tons of new DVDs from China, so he is loving this. I told him Quiet time has to be quiet, so he sits/lays on the couch and watches, or plays with his toys quietly, while I also have some quiet time upstairs. When his video is finished (usually 45 minutes - a little over an hour) he comes up to find me, and quiet time is over.

Also, bed time has moved from 7:30 to 6:30. I cannot believe even for a second that this worked. I have no idea why when last week he was fighting naps and jumping on his bed the whole time, and we put him down at 7:30, that he would still talk till 8:30 or 9. But this week, still no nap, he is falling asleep about .7 seconds after he close his door at 6:35. It's a miracle, and I won't question it!

The last thing, which is indeed hardest for me, especially last week during spring break with family in town, is staying home A LOT more. You (read: I) just can't in force rules very well when you're out and about. Plus when you take the time to go somewhere, especially if your with someone, you don't want to pack up and leave at the first sign of naughtiness. So, we spent the mornings with our cousins, went home for our together time, quiet time, and activity time, and then usually met up with them again for a late afternoon activity, or early dinner...ALWAYS being home by bed time.

The whole week, we had one tantrum. I'm sorry to say that it occurred in my sister in Law's Mini Van with her girls there as well, but it was Friday, and as it turns out, Jaxon was getting sick. So, all in all this week was a great victory!!!