...while I wax sentimental, and perhaps a bit religious. Even though I am a "Stay at home mom"...for the last several months I been essentially working 3 part time jobs...building 2 businesses and teaching at the gym...I love all of it, but it is so time consuming. I have been suffering mass amounts of guilt about the amount of time and attention Jaxon has been getting (not getting) from me. "Guilt" is not exactly the right word though...just an extremely urgent and pressing feeling that it is absolutely imperative that our time together become much more often and meaningful. As in, I really REALLY feel like I have been prompted over and over again by the spirit, that it is VERY necessary for me to re-prioritize RIGHT NOW!
We are together ALL DAY, but it wasn't, for the most part, quality time. For the last week I have made a conscious effort to put Jaxon first and really prioritize. Everyday we spent at least an hour, together on the ground playing dinosaurs, motorcycles, blocks, whatever his heart desires. (FOR THE RECORD- I am in NO WAY trying to say what a good mom I am...on the contrary, I am admitting how bad I feel that I had been doing for quite some time...)
So, I have had a very real and tangible change take over my feelings, emotions, and body. Everything has finally (for the first time in several months) seemed like it is just right...and as a side note, everything I need to do is still getting done. I don't have that forboding feeling hanging over me anymore, it is such a genuine weight off my shoulders, and I think much more clearly. I promise I am not trying to sound preachy, just trying to express what a markedly different feel there is inside my body.
For Jaxon's part, he has never been more responsive, less aggressive, more loving, respectful, responsible, and such a good listener...ever. I know that we will have our ups and downs, but I am so happy about my newfound "place in the home." Who knew a little change could bring about such massive results? Oh yes, Heavenly Father...hence all the counsel on the role of mothers. Amen. :o)
7 comments:
And what cute pictures!!! You should frame them!
Well said. I need to follow your example. I'm trying to get there!
Who took those cute pictures? We miss you both, but are so enjoying Katie. She is amazing--
That's nice, Ashley. You'll never regret time spent with your Jaxon.
Oh, that last comment was from me. Mom must have been using this last...
Good for you! It is so hard to just sit down and play sometimes. Thanks for the inspiration!
bravo! I often feel like that too, and am working on making that little leap to spend quality time with my girls!
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